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36aa to 36c, smooth, round, unders. |
Here’s my story ……
BOOBS. That’s all I could think about. I was obsessed and getting worse. At 28 I didn’t feel like a woman. I couldn’t venture outside of the house without wearing ‘silicone enhancers’ which were exactly like chicken breast fillets. I hated wearing them but had got to the stage in my life where I couldn’t bear to accept I had nothing. I compared every single womans breasts I met to my own, envied models chests and was desperately ashamed of my own.
The ‘defining’ moment, when I realised that I had a problem that just wouldn’t go away was when my daughter accidentally ripped one of my ‘enhancers’. I dissolved into floods of tears. My boobies had gone. My husband, try as hard as he could, just didn’t understand. I knew then I had to do something.
I’m 5ft 5’’ and fairly broad shouldered, with a broad ribcage. Without clothes on I looked like a little boy from the waist up. I had 36aa ‘breasts’ which were essentially just nipple. Tops didn’t fit right, any new ‘trendy ones’ looked ridiculous. I was ashamed.
Then I heard about my friend Karen. She’d had hers done. She was even smaller than me (if that possible). I bumped into her at a nightclub and she took me into the toilets to show me the surgeons handy work. There was me, her and my sister and we got a few strange looks ! I didn’t care, Karen had changed completely. She was confident, was wearing the smallest top and had the most perfect breasts I had ever seen.
I went home and thought and thought and thought. I’d had a pay rise and could afford a loan. So I applied for £3000 ‘just to see’. I got it. That day I rang the PS that Karen had used and, to my utter shock, his assistant said there had been a cancellation and he could see me that night.
I rang my sister and she drove me there. She was in a state of shock in the car. I’d not even told my husband. She couldn’t believe I was doing it but was behind me all the way. She knew how I’d suffered and told me ‘whatever makes you happy, I’ll support you in’. It was all the encouragement I needed.
I saw the assistant. She’d had a boob job and looked great. She was frank and honest and there was no ‘hard sell’. I was told that risks and complications, but already knew them. There was nothing about the surgery I didn’t know. I’d realised at 18 yrs that I wasn’t going to develop and had always ‘planned’ to have it at ‘some point’.
She examined me and almost gasped. ‘You’ve got practically nothing’ she said. It wasn’t meant to be offensive and was a natural reaction. I wasn’t upset. I knew it. She said that because I was so small I’d have to go with ‘under’. The implant would be placed under the chest wall muscle and was a more painful operation. I may have slight rippling at the sides of the breast, she told me, because I was so small. I didn’t care.
I saw the surgeon, who made me feel at ease in an instant. He was a warm man and I knew that he really did care about his patients. Again he went through the pros and cons and told me to go away and think about it. He said because I was so small he couldn’t go any bigger than a 36C . I went away and thought. I booked the surgery the next day.
I had to wait for 6 weeks for the surgery because of work commitments. In this time I met friends like Debi who shared a common bond. They told me so much and picked me up when I began to think why I was doing it and how much money it was costing.
The week before the surgery was terrible. I was so positive about it that I hadn’t considered it would be painful at all then one of the girls I’d met online had hers and was in agony. I was terrified. I do not have a high pain threshold. By the time February 22nd came I wasn’t sure if I was doing the right thing. I knew I had to do it to stop me being so obsessed with breasts (or my lack of them !).
My husband Phil, came with me to the hospital. They booked me in, took all my details, my blood pressure, took a blood sample (they thought I looked a bit ‘pale’ – it was terror !), spoke with the anaesthestist (who would give me an anti-nausea drug as I’d had bad reactions to G.A’s before) and told me settle myself into my room. As it was a private hospital I had my own room with Tv etc…
WE waited and waited. The nurse came in and asked me to change into one of those lovely blue open back gowns (I can only imagine what I looked like from the back!) and she put a pair of surgical stockings on me (this stops blood clots apparently) and a pair of plastic bag slippers on my feet. My the time the porter came with the trolley I was shaking. I was wheeled down to surgery. The drip was put in my arm, I was told I’d feel a bit drunk ..then I woke up.
I can’t remember the recovery room, just being in bed when my sister and husband arrived. I was sat up and looked down. There were lumps. I couldn’tbelieve it. They were big. I pulled open the gown and looked. The nurses had put my support bra on (I would have to wear this for 4-6 weeks straight after the surgery) and my breasts now filled the 36 c cups.
My sister and husband just stared at me open mouthed. It felt like I was in a dream. I’d only known one person who had had this done – I’d thought that only rich, famous people had it done, yet here I was, with breasts !!!! One thing was missing though – the pain. I had none. I felt slightly queasy and heaved a few times but nothing came up. My breasts were tender, but not painful at all. Moving around the bed was difficult because I was so scared of ‘dis-placing them’ (this can’t happen by the way).
I didn’t sleep so good because I was propped up and couldn’t move much. When I did and used my chest muscle (you use this a lot more than you’ll ever know!) it pulled. Its not painful just uncomfortable and sort of goes into little throbby spasm. So I stayed there. The nurses kept popping in to check on me. They couldn’t believe I didn’t need any extra painkillers. I finally dropped off and woke up the next morning as stiff as a board and had slid down the bed. I knew that I couldn’t get up on my own (I needed to pee) so called a nurse. She helped me out of bed and it hurt. I won’t lie – it was because I’d been in one position all night and had stiffened up but I got up and once I was moving around was fine. Having the weight of my boobs was strange, as was not being able to stretch or bend down but was fine.
The rest they say is history. Its been almost 4 weeks since I’ve had this operation and I feel like a different person. My boobs are changing all the time and look sensational.
At first they’re very swollen and quite hard but that goes very quickly and they begin to settle into place. They’re now ‘dropping’ to what a natural breast should look like and are really soft.
I had 2 weeks off work and would advise anyone to do this – you need to rest whilst your body heals itself. The first week I couldn’t sleep without being propped up and was very very tired, by the second week I was moving around and by the third week, back at work, driving and feeling like a WOMAN.
It’s amazing how it changes you. For the first time in my life I’m not ashamed of my body. Okay I still need to lose a little bit of weight (don’t we all ?) but I don’t care that much anymore. I’ve got the one thing in my life that no amount of dieting, exercise or cosmetics could give me. I flaunt them, I’m not ashamed to say it, but I do. A couple of men actuallywere ogling my chest the other day. Okay, it was letchy but it’d never happened before and I was so happy that I had something to notice !!!!
I feel sensual and sexual and my love life has never been more wild !
I went and bought a top – halter neck, backless number, in week 2. I got it home and when it was on cried. I looked in proportion. It was an amazing experience and something I wished I’d done a very long time ago.
You all can do it. if I can anyone can. For a couple of weeks inconvenice you get back something so wonderful it’s not even worth thinking about.
I go on holiday to Florida in 6 weeks time and for the first time ever I have bought a bikini. It looks great and this time around, I won’t be ashamed by the pool !!!!!
I hope this serves as inspiration to you all still waiting. I can’t promise that everyone’s experience will be as positive as mine, but I’ve yet to hear of any that aren’t. My tips are : take arnica montana 10 days before and for about a week after having the surgery – this stops excess bleeding. Also take Vit C. which helps with the natural healing process and the most important – Stay positive. I’m convinced that having a positive mental attitude helped me sail though my operation.
