Ms Atlas
Stats Age: 31 (two children)
Pre-op size: Nearly 34AA
Post-Op size: 34C
Implants: McGhan Style 120 - textured,
high profile 300cc - soft silicone gel
Incision: Crease
Placement: Sub-muscular (partial unders)
Height: 5'6"
Weight: 9st (126lb)
Surgeon: Mr Clive Reid - BAAPS - Bristol, England
Surgery: 29/08/01
I am 30 years old, 9 st ish, 5''7", slim with Almost Apparent breasts (AA!), and two children aged 8 and 10.My years at secondary school (11-16) were fairly awful. In the first year, meeting lots of new people, girls who had started developing breasts, and boys who wanted you to. In the second year, I thought maybe now mine will start then; okay then, maybe not; ...third year?....Still no development in the breast department. And then, hooray a breast bud develops, the approximate size of a plum stone, ..not a confidence builder at 13. Never mind, all the maternal ones say, there is still time.
Well I was still clinging to that hope when at about 25, Hugh Grant made some statement about Liz Hurley having small breasts until she was 28 and then they became the best breasts in London, apparently. So maybe by the time I'm 30?
In the meantime, the comments and remarks have flowed fairly frequently. "Turn sideways and you disappear", "You are the only girl I know who has not changed physically since you were 5", get the jist! I could write a book there are so many, and each one hurt and knocked my self esteem one step lower.
Having children and breast-feeding was a real boost. Firstly they grew, yippee!! I could fit into an B cup. Although not many places sold B cup nursing bra's. Then the Madonna style pointy pyramids appeared, solid as rocks and covered constantly with a breast pad. Not sexy!! Managed to feed first baby for a year, looking back possibly sub-consciously holding on to my B cup!! I even gained a stretch mark on one of them, which is my little trophy to my breast days. Post-feeding, away they went, back into the world of my dreams.
In 1997 I saw my GP and pleaded psychological scarring and hoped for some medical intervention. She was great and referred me to a plastic surgeon, who discussed silicone implants, a B cup and under muscle placements. But, the NHS will not help with the cost, psycho trauma or not, I'm obviously not derailed enough by my negative breast experiences. The surgeon was great and I told him we couldn't afford to shell out £3k at the moment, but would be in touch maybe the next year and I was definitely interested in pursuing this, finances permitting. I did feel that I needed to speak to someone else who had been through the procedure, but knew no-one and the internet wasn't much help back then. After this it kind of went on the back-burner for a few years!
Then, when I quit smoking in the summer of '99, my weight increased from a nearly 8 ½ stone to a comfortable 9 stone, sometimes 9st4lbs. With that a little bit more flesh placed itself on my chest, enough to hide my ribs slightly and remove that starved child look, although more found its way to my bottom, there must be a ratio of fat hitting bottom/thighs to fat going into breast tissue. Anyway, I did begin to think, this could be the catalyst. Maybe there is a link between smoking and small breasts, I thought (can you feel the desperation now?!), maybe NOW they will grow into real breasts. But Oh no, they aren't going to play ball.
My decision to look into augmentation was spurned by the traumatic trip to M&
S to buy underwear. I so hate doing it, and try to buy on the net if possible, but on this occasion spouse decided we should look round the store. Ooooh its so awful!! We manage after much rummaging to find some bra's in a 34AA, although the ones I really liked didn't go that small, AND I kept noticing the training bra's for ten year olds were also 34AA. We bought a couple and some nice knicks, and went off to buy a bottle of Gin for the trying on bit at home ('no can do' trying on in shops with mirrors and lights - Eeeeewww!) So on they go with my hopes aloft that they will fit, and my fears screaming not to be so ridiculous. They fit the ribs, but lo and behold, space in the cup.SO, ENOUGH. I am now tired of waiting for them to do their own thing. They
are not going to grow on their own. I have to accept that either I go for surgery or I stay wearing childrens size bra's for the rest of this life.Hubby & I search the web and one of the first web sites we find is the Cosmetic Support site. I couldn't believe my luck. Not one person who has had surgery, but lots, all friendly and supportive and most importantly not having had there breasts removed altogether because surgery is so dangerous (fear is back again!) After reading some of the postings in the forum and the journals I pluck up the courage to make contact. That was all it took, I made up my mind there and then that this is what I want and need to do, for me and my self-esteem. The site is great, and I have made my appointment for my surgical consult with the surgeon I saw before ,for August 2001. All I need to do now is learn a whole new subject and language, and decide what I want my outcome to be. First Stage
Having established a rather long list of questions, we made our way to Bristol for the consultation. Consult
There was some confusion, as this was officially my second appointment, but realistically was like a first. So what should have been a twenty minute consult, took us an hour and a half!!
The surgeon was great, he answered all my questions, and discussed my wishes against his aesthetic opinion. He agreed to most of my requests, and eventually looked at the photos I had taken. He then asked to keep the photos to refer to later, together with my sizes and the implant sizes.
His initial recommendation had been for 250cc max, and we managed to negotiate to 270-300cc, to achieve my desired C cup.
I came away feeling he had been very approachable and accomodating, but obviously had his own aesthetic preferences, and with all his experience and training, I felt I couldn't push this issue any further.
A week before the surgery, I had a crisis of confidence, and worrying about size and placement, together with some info I had read about cohesive gel being much safer, made contact with the surgeons office to discuss my worries.
I was reassured, and decided to stick with our original decisions on size and content.
The kids went off to my Mum & Dads on the Tuesday night, and we finished off the preparation of my overnight bag etc. Pre BA Photos
Surgery
I slept erratically, dreaming strange things and waking to wee fairly regularly. Mostly my tummy was a jumble of butterflies and bats. When I was asked by my friend how I was feeling, I replied "I feel like Wednesday is Christmas Day and I have to do a parachute jump". This just about summed up my excitement and intrepidation.
My admission time was 8 am, so we woke at 6-30, and I got dressed in my specially bought travelling outfit (zipped cardigan etc). Then waited (unable to have a cup of tea or any water/food), until about 10 past 7 when we left for Bristol for the second time.
As we approached the entrance to the hospital, my heart was pounding so much I though it was going to appear in my mouth. Once in the hospital, we were taken up fairly quickly to my room, and all the checks were made, forms filled in, and I dressed in the gown and sexy stockings. We were told I would be going down very shortly, this was about quarter to nine. Time ticked away, and they kept reassuring us it would be soon. Then at 10am, the nurse advised us that the first patient had been booked in for half an hour to have a 2 ½ hour op. So I would be going down at 10-45am. This was taking for ever, time was so slowly ticking by. Every noise outside the door I thought would be for me, but wasn't. We watched some DIY shows on TV to help the time pass, anything but silence!!
Then they came, and I was wheeled off into the lift and down to the theatre. I remember looking at the clock and it saying 11am, and that is all I remember until I started to come round in the recovery room. I dozed on and off, as they wheeled me to another room. I was panicking that Jon wouldn't know where I was, but was too zonked to say anything. Anyway, there he was in my new room.
When you make your decisions pre-op, you consider things like additional pain of one procedure versus another, but don't register the reality of that decision until you actually experience the situation. Consequently one of my first comments to Jon was, 'Why didn't I have overs?'. It was very tender, but I was drifting in and out of consciousness/sleep, so was only aware of it for brief spells.
Jon then informed me that I had forgotten to remove one piece of jewellery, which they had to take out in theatre. I had a four month old tummy piercing, and anyone who knows or has one, will be aware that there removal is not advised so early on, and even after years, the replacement needs to be quick. 'How long has it been out?' I asked. 'About three hours' I am informed. I blasphemed at this point! Figuring I was so out of it and still probably had morphine kicking around inside me, I asked to find someone who was prepared to put it back in. This was the nearest you could get to having a piercing under general anaesthesia! They found a lovely nurse, who started to put it through, and then informed me there was some
healing over, what should she do. I knew it would hurt to have it re-done when sober(!) so figured what the heck, 'Go for it' I said 'Just go for it'. As it turned out, it was only a small re-pierce and with some constant disinfecting/antiseptic cleaning, it is back to normal.As soon as I was a bit compus mentus, I started sipping water, and had an odd taste lingering which took a while to go away, together with a dry/sore throat and a Bonnie Tyler lilt!. The pain was quite intense at times, and I think they gave me morphine to begin with, then I mostly slept on and off. I had to wee in a large hat thing on the bed, because I was attached to so many things. I had emptied one intravenous fluid bag and with sipping water too, I think I was rehydrating quite well.
The rest of the afternoon, evening and night passed in much the same vein. I was given intravenous antibiotics, oral painkillers, sipped water and was allowed to get up to wee this time. Although it was a palaver, having to unclip the drains from the bed, un-velcro the pumps on my legs and negotiate the door and loo seat. So I only went if I was bursting! I did try sipping some tea early evening. But after drinking lying down for some hours earlier, I think I had trapped some air, and now sitting more upright, I began to feel nauseous. I was sick, and this was very painful, and prompted me to request some anti-sickness again. Although I felt
better for being sick, I wasn't going to take any chances.The food menu was exquisite looking, with asparagus salads, and other such lovely things on the menu. But I wasn't risking any more eating.
6-30am I was woken with blood pressure check etc., and then breakfast ordered. I managed a cup of tea and kept that down, so ventured to some toast and Cornflakes. Although still sore, I was feeling much better and sitting further up in bed. I still had the hassle to use the loo, but at least the pain and nausea had subsided.
Mr Reid came and checked the drains, and said I would be able to have them out after lunch and go home then. I had been dreading drain removal because I had heard it could be painful. They asked Jon if he wanted to stay, and he mumbled something about wanting a cigarette anyway, and off he went!! It was over quite quickly, and the nurse brought another nurse in to hold my hand!! What a cissy! She talked me through the whole thing and we chatted through some of it which helped. It was uncomfortable, but not awful. AND I knew this was the last of the painful bits, so I was looking forward to it being over with.
With the drains off, I was free to get dressed. So I started by going into the bathroom, and although I had seen the new additions, only peeping through the neckhole of my gown, actually seeing me with them, was quite emotional. So when Jon returned to the room,I was crying and he was worried that the drains had been really bad! I just said "I've got boobs!!" and blubbed on his shoulder!
The fun came when we tried to put me in my sports bra. The Z-Bra was a bit tight, so we tried the Triumph, which I couldn't do up at all! We didn't think I would fill them and here I was over filling a bra for the first time in my life. We squeezed me into the Z-Bra , got the rest of my outfit on and made our way home.
The pain has been minimal, especially considering the description was 'moderately severe pain can be expected post-operatively', maybe having had babies helped, and yoga, breathing techniques, or maybe I was just very blessed in my healing. Who knows?
It is quite uncomfortable sleeping on my back and I am taking the pain meds
regularly. Everyone has commented on how they suit my body frame, I just
hope they stay this size and continue to make me smile this much! I have
my first post-op on Wednesday (day 7) and the stitches will come out one
week after that (day 14), as he feels the skin was pulled quite tight.They are very numb on the outside, my nipples are dormant and the skin feels like a tight drum. To describe touching them, if you pulled the fabric of your trousers tight away from you and ran your nail back and forth, you would be aware of something pulling by the surrounding sensation, but nothing where the scratching is taking place. The dressing area is itching on and off. Day 1
They are still tender when the meds wear off, but the are beginning to get some feeling back. I have a wedding today, so getting into an outfit will be fun! Have found a dress that a) hides the chunky sports bra and b) can go on without me raising my arms. It does feel good to have a bust line, even if it doesn't feel like mine yet. I have no cardigan, but my nipples are still asleep, so no one will notice! Day 4
I am starting to get sensation back, the left breast is one step ahead of the right one. The feeling (for those mums out there) is best described as being like when your milk comes in. Also, sometimes they feel a bit like this pre-menstrually, tingly and tender. The underneath is still very numb and my nipples have started to stand to attention at odd times! They are reacting to touch now and to cold. I have managed to lie on my side, but it is very uncomfortable. They still fill the C cup, but I am going to ask the PS how much of their present size is swelling. They don't feel swollen, but I want to be sure before I buy any underwear. The best bit has been trying on some of my old stuff, well at least those that front fasten or can be stepped into. Particularly was a blouse with darts, that previously almost pointed towards the floor, and now sit across my breast and stop at the nipple, I always wondered what these darts were for!! Day 6
Back to Bristol, home from home now. Managed to stop grinning for five minutes to have a sensible conversation with the PS. I removed my clothes and he asked me how I feel about them. I told him how much I love them and how great they are, he agreed that they do look very good and are healing well. He removed the ressings, and replaced them with some micropore tape, which is skin coloured and allows my new boobs to look more natural. I asked about sleeping on my side and raising my arms, and he recommended waiting another week before trying again. I have a numb patch on my right foot, and he said there was no link to the surgery, that it is more likely a link to my nightly backache. Can't wait to sleep on my side! As he is on holiday next week, I shall be having my stitches removed by a nurse, and then won't see him again until the 6-8 week check up. Day 7 - Post Op Consult
The feeling is returning more each day, and the skin feels bruised. Both nipples now reacting equally to the cold or touch. And they seem to be softening already. My cleavage is still quite tight and tender, but improves a little each day. Can't wait to get measured and try on some new bra's. Still trying on tops that pull up over my feet or front fasten! Fed up with baggy zip front or stretchy tops, looking forward to wearing more fitted items.
Post Op BA Photos
Week 1
Mr Reid is on holiday (Bahamas on my four grand I expect!). So I see the nurse who it turns out, was in surgery with me and was the one who removed my tummy button bar. She removed the plaster/bandage things and carefully cut and pulled out the stitches. The dressing removal was more painful pulling on my skin, than the stitch removal - stressed over nothing once again. 
2 weeks stitch removal appointment
On the way home, we popped into John Lewis in Bristol and decided to see if we could get me measured. This was a bit nerve-wracking, but I know how infrequently we go shopping, so decided to bite the bullet and go for it. The extremely helpful lady informed me that I would be better in a 32 band than a 34, which she demonstrated by showing me the fastener section of my bra riding up my back. She then gave me the mega news that this would make me a D cup, I think I may have stopped breathing for a while, then my massive grin returned along with the oxygen supply!
I bought one bra without an underwire, as it seems 98% of the bra manufacture is of the underwire kind. She recommended I come back at the twelve week stage for another measure, and hopefully to buy some nice bras - at last.
Having had my two month check up, with no problems reported and my surgeons quote of 'You look like a girl who has been blessed with lovely breasts', I am as happy now as I have ever been. The fact that he called me a girl and not a woman made me feel ten years younger! Silly I know, but we are simple really whatever the blokes say. 12 Weeks Post Op
I still have numbness of the skin, meaning if I massage them I can feel it, but if I stroke them gently I can't. I am moisturising them still and trying to stimulate them into life. But I know that I need to be patient. Haven't made it back to John Lewis yet, and with Christmas fast approaching, don't suppose we will get there before then, so it could be Sales shopping in January instead - oooh I can't wait.
4 Months Post Op
